What do war and persecution do to people?
Interview with therapist Joy Oonk
Joy Oonk mainly treats people with psychological symptoms due to the Second World War for ARQ Centrum’45. During and after a war, a lot of attention is paid to the material damage and the number of dead and injured. Relatively little is said about the psychological damage, though it lasts so much longer. This applies to the lives of the first generation, but also to those of the second and sometimes even the third generation.
After the Second World War, the focus was mainly on reconstruction and people tried to forget what had happened. Joy: “For many of the first generation, hardly anything seemed wrong at first, they were so successful in life. It is striking that symptoms often only occur later in life. The first generation that we are still treating today consists of people in their eighties. Declining cognition and dementia play a role. The past comes to the fore and can no longer be pushed away. As a daughter of one of them said: ‘My father never talked about anything. Now he doesn’t talk about anything else’.”
"Children feel that 'something is up' with their parents."
Children of war victims
Yet many children feel that ‘something’s up’ with their parents. Joy: “They learn at a young age not to ask questions about the war. They try to prevent their parent from being triggered, but that isn’t always possible. Triggers can be anything: a life event, a death, a film, book or even an encounter. The parent can then react explosively or become terribly anxious and no longer dare to go outside. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all first-generation war victims; many people have tremendous resilience. But those we see at ARQ Centrum’45 are traumatised. A lot has often gone wrong in the attachment of children of war victims. The parents are still so occupied with their own experiences that they are only there for their children to a limited extent. Children often suffer from fears and feelings of insecurity. They also often take care of a lot for their parents, so they no longer have time to meet their own needs.”
"Grandparents also want to talk now."
Grandchildren want to know what happened
The impact of the war is still noticeable in the third generation. Joy: “They want to know exactly what happened. They are further removed from that part of history. They talk to their grandpa and grandma and ask what the second generation was afraid to ask. This is actually very convenient for the grandparents, because they also want to talk and they no longer need to be strong in the eyes of their own children. It is the protection that kept them silent.”
Encouraging those affected to carry on with their lives
“At ARQ, we are unique in the Netherlands because the problem is placed in history, not just in the person. When I started at ARQ eight years ago, it was a place with ‘guests’, not patients. These guests were not treated, but ‘a safe environment was created for them’. A cultural shift has taken place in recent years. ARQ Centrum’45 has now become more of a treatment institute with patients, not guests. But still with attention to the context in which the symptoms arose: the family, society. In recent years we have also started saying: how can you process what happened without getting stuck in the role of victim? We have learned to also place responsibility on patients to get out, to carry on with their lives.”
